Loved
by TwistedxFantasy
Summary: A HGDM romance fic. Hermione had always been a goodygoody, a bookworm, and above all, strong and proud. So what happens when she finally breaks down, and will anyone be there to comfort her? Rubbish summary, better story inside :


**Loved**

Love. It was a strange and complex emotion, a seventeen year old girl thought to herself as she sat on the window ledge, staring out the window. And one, she thought to herself, I have never, and probably will never, experience. And nor will I ever be loved.

Hermione Granger pressed her forehead to the cool glass of the window and sighed, closing her eyes. She frowned while thinking to herself about the day's events, a single tear sliding silently down her pale face.

FLASHBACK

"Harry! Ron!" cried a certain bushy brown haired girl, running over to her two best friends who were standing in front of a large red train.

A bespectacled boy and a flaming red-headed boy turned round, grinning broadly as the girl ran towards them.

"Hermione!" they said as she gave them each a hug.

Hermione seemed beside herself in excitement. Beaming, she stepped away from them and slowly took a small badge out of her pocket, which had the letters "HG" on them.

Both boys smiled immensely. "Well done, Hermione!" they said, and Hermione smiled even wider. "Thanks!" she replied.

"Anyway, I'm supposed to be looking out for a new boy," she carried on. "He's starting today, straight into seventh year. You guys go ahead and get a compartment, I'll meet up with you later!"

Harry and Ron nodded, before turning and hurrying onto the train.

Hermione meanwhile was looking out for the new boy. She soon noticed a shy looking boy who was looking around nervously on the platform. He looked around her age, so she walked over, smiling.

"Hello!" she said in a friendly tone. The boy turned around and smiled too. Hermione immediately noticed how good looking the boy was. His dark brown hair was the shade of dark chocolate, and was ruffled to look windswept. His deep blue eyes were like the shimmering ocean. His skin had a light tan to it, and Hermione could tell that as soon as the Hogwarts girls had seen this boy, they would instantly note his good looks and giggle whenever they were in his presence. What she hadn't expected was that she would become tongue-tied with this new boy.

She cleared her throat and said quite quickly, "I'm H-Hermione Granger, Head Girl; I was t-told to look for a new boy?"

Hermione mentally scolded herself for stuttering. But the boy just carried on smiling at her and said, "I would be him. My name's Alex, Alex Richardson."

END OF FLASHBACK

Why did I trust him? Hermione wondered to herself. As if anyone could ever like me, let alone love me, the Mudblood, goody-goody bookworm.

Hermione sighed to herself. It was true, though she didn't show it, that she was quite an insecure person. Whenever a Slytherin called her a Mudblood, or insulted her with the many ways to which she had become accustomed, she had simply laughed at their poor efforts to offend her. But inside, she felt the words sting. Oh no, she would never dare to show her feelings. She was a Gryffindor, she had pride. Never would she break down, let anyone know how the taunts got to her inside. She would simply shrug away the insults on the outside, and feel the pain on the inside. That was Hermione.

Yet she had trusted him, she had trusted him with all her heart. And he had let her down. What was worse was that he didn't even know she knew it.

FLASHBACK

Hermione had proceeded to board the train with Alex, and walked inside the compartment in which Harry and Ron were sitting.

"Hi guys!" she said. "This is Alex."

Moving aside, she let the boy enter the compartment. She moved in herself and went to shut the door, but not before noticing that Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown were staring out of the compartment opposite at Alex.

Closing the door, Hermione sat down next to Ron, opposite Alex. "This is Ron," said Hermione, gesturing to the boy beside her, "and Harry." She finished, nodding in Harry's direction. Both boys said friendly hello's to Alex, which he returned.

"Well, well, well…." said a cold, drawling voice. Hermione looked up and saw Draco Malfoy standing in the doorway of their compartment, looking confidently smug. "What do you want, Malfoy?" said Harry coldly. "Manners, Potter," Draco continued, "or I may feel the need to dock a few points from Gryffindor."

It was then that they realised that Draco had pinned to the front of his robes a small badge, with the letters "HB" on it.

"YOU'RE Head Boy?" Ron scoffed.

Draco's head slowly turned to look at Ron.

"Yes, Weaselbee, I am." Draco smirked at the look of rage on Ron's face before continuing. "Granger's wanted in the compartment at the top of the train. Head Boy and Girl meeting, with the Prefects and McGonagall, too. Though why on Earth they made the Mudblood Head Girl is beyond me…" Ron stood up angrily to this, to which Draco laughed. "Remember your place, Weasel - below me." Draco turned, smirking, and left the compartment.

Hermione sighed and stood up. "You'd better come too, Alex, Professor McGonagall will want to meet you…"

Alex stood also and left the compartment with Hermione. They walked to the top of the train and into the compartment.

"Miss Granger, and I believe this is the new student joining us this year?" Professor McGonagall said. Alex nodded, and he and Hermione sat down. "Well, you shall be Sorted along with the first years at the start of the feast. You may go now and return to your compartment." Alex turned and left the compartment, with a last look at Hermione. Professor McGonagall continued. "Now, as to the subject of Headships in the school. The Head Boy this year is Draco Malfoy –" she paused and nodded in Draco's direction. Hermione glanced at him, leaning against the wall in the compartment. Arrogant prat, she thought. "And the Head Girl is Hermione Granger," she continued, nodding at Hermione. "Now, as to the matter of dormitories, the Head Girl and Head Boy will be sharing a dorm, as usual -" Hermione involuntarily let out a gasp of shock. Professor McGonagall gave her a stern look before continuing. "- so as to promote House unity. The Prefects will patrol the school corridors in the evenings, each to be given different shifts by the Head Boy and Girl. Now I will leave you to discuss the matter of these shifts."

Professor McGonagall turned and exited the compartment, leaving Hermione and Draco in the compartment with the faces of 8 Prefects looking at them expectantly. Draco immediately sat down, looking out the window unconcernedly, leaving Hermione standing alone.

"Er," she said. "Well, how about 2 Prefects on duty at a time, each for an hour?" she continued, uncertainly.

One of the Prefects said straight away, "What days, though? You're being a little vague."

Hermione's face reddened. "Mondays to Fridays, and we can post the times of the hours on the school notice board, then at the weekends, me and the Head Boy will do some shifts."

The Prefects nodded in agreement, and Hermione sat down as they left the compartment, happy that the matter of shifts had been sorted. Oh no! She suddenly thought to herself. Sharing a dorm with Malfoy! What a nightmare….

As though he had read her thoughts, Draco spoke from across the compartment. "Sharing a dorm with a Mudblood," he muttered. Hermione frowned and shot back, "Well, it isn't exactly my idea of paradise to share a dorm with a stuck up Slytherin snob either, you know!" Draco scowled and went back to looking out the window.

Hermione stood up and left the compartment, heading back down the train. She went inside the compartment with Harry, Ron and Alex, and was very pleased by the way Alex brightened up as she entered the room.

END OF FLASHBACK

Hermione thought back to the start of the year. She had been so happy. She had been made Head Girl, and not even sharing a dorm with Malfoy had dampened her spirits. And there had been Alex, who seemed so nice and friendly, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous.

What went wrong? Hermione knew. It was all her fault, really. She had been under the delusion that she actually stood a chance with a boy. Hermione let out a dry laugh. As if! She should have just done what she usually did, get on with her work like the bookworm she was. But, no. This year had been different. Very different.

FLASHBACK

Harry and Ron sat down next to Hermione at the Gryffindor table, while Alex had walked quickly to the front of the Hall. His name had been called first, as he was to be Sorted before the first-years, and he had sat on the stool with the Sorting Hat upon his head.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The Hat shouted. Alex smiled and ran to sit next to Hermione as the Gryffindors let out a great cheer.

The Sorting went on, finally ending with, "Wellington, Alice!" who was placed in Ravenclaw. Alex turned to Hermione. "Um….Hermione, could you maybe show me the Gryffindor common room?" Hermione smiled. "Sure!" she said. She stood up and led the way to the Gryffindor common room. Many girls eyes followed Alex as he left after Hermione, some girls whispering, "Wow!" to each other.

Inside, Hermione pointed out where the boy's dorms were, and the girl's dorms, with a pang of hurt as she remembered that she would no longer be staying in those dorms.

She turned around and found Alex was staring at her. She blushed furiously and sat down, and Alex sat next to her. A horrible silence seemed to last forever before it was broken by Alex.

"Hermione…" he said. "Er……y-yeah?" Hermione said, looking determinedly at the floor. "I……..um……kinda…..like you….." he said feebly. Hermione had no reply, and continued staring at the floor.

Yet again there was a painful silence. "Hermione?" Alex pressed on. Hermione swallowed and said, "I…..um…..like you too……."

WHAT! Thought Hermione to herself. Did…..did I just say that? No…..can't have happened…..

Hermione risked looking up and saw Alex smiling at her. She smiled back, still not knowing what to say. And then he leant in towards her…..

END OF FLASHBACK

More and more tears were now sliding down Hermione's cheeks. She wiped them away furiously. She remembered her first kiss, it had been with him, and she had been even happier. She had trusted him.

The noise of a door opening behind Hermione did not stir her from her thoughts, as the tears continued to slip from her eyes. Not until a voice spoke did she look up.

"So….the Mudblood's crying, is she?" said a drawling voice. Hermione looked up and saw the sneering face of Draco Malfoy smirking at her from the couch.

"Malfoy….if all your purpose is for being in here now is to simply upset me more, you're wasting your time. If it isn't plainly obvious already, I'm upset more than you could worsen with your pathetic insults, so just leave it." Hermione turned away from him and looked out the window.

Draco was stunned. He was not used to seeing Hermione like this. He had expected a witty retort to come back from her. But Hermione simply stayed silent, as did he. What could have upset her so much? He found himself thinking.

FLASHBACK

The news of Hermione and Alex going out spread like wildfire throughout Hogwarts. Most had the same thought, "Hermione? Hermione _Granger?_ Surely not, she's way too bookish to have a boyfriend!" But after a few days no-one could deny that she did indeed have a boyfriend.

The Slytherins, of course, were in disbelief, and took every opportunity to insult the new couple.

"Ha, Richardson, you could have done way better than _Granger!_" Sneered Pansy Parkinson. "Who on EARTH would want to go out with that filthy little Mudblood?" This was followed by the sound of ringing laughter from the Slytherins.

Hermione and Alex, however, simply ignored all the taunting. They were happy together, and to them, nothing else mattered. When Hermione had told Ron and Harry, they had been fine with it, they were happy for the couple. Hermione had never felt happier, Alex was so kind, and smart, and lovely.

They had been going out for a while, from the warm-ish September weather, to the icy cold of December, right through to April. Then one day, it had all gone wrong.

END OF FLASHBACK

It was a while before either of them spoke again.

"Granger," said Draco. "What?" she replied roughly. She was not in the mood for Malfoy's taunts this evening. She already had enough to think about without him annoying her.

Draco paused, wondering what to say. What did he want to say? Did he want to comfort her in some way? No! He said firmly to himself. He hated the Mudblood. He didn't matter to her!

Nevertheless, Draco could not deny that there was something unnerving about seeing Hermione cry. She, who had always stood up to him, even slapped him in their third year, so her showing vulnerability was just unsettling to him. He didn't exactly want her to cry. Yes, he had always taunted her, and generally disliked her, but he never went so far as to make her break down. He didn't want her to cry, he didn't like to see her cry.

Draco's brain was suddenly full of confusing thoughts. Did he actually feel sympathy towards her? No, said a firm voice in his head, you can't possibly. She's a Gryffindor, goody-goody, bookworm Mudblood; she's not worth your sympathy! But a tiny voice suddenly spoke up in the back of his head.

_You do feel sorry for her,_ it said. _You want her to feel better; you don't want her to cry._

No! Said the other voice. You're wrong! I hate her! I HATE HER!

_No you don't, _said the other voice, more persistently now._ You've been FORCED to hate her, because of your father, your blood, not out of choice. There's a difference._

No, said the other voice again. What does it matter? Either way, I hate her. Even if I was forced!

_There is a difference,_ the voice carried on, getting louder. _You've been forced to hate her, where somewhere, deep in your mind, you've never really hated her. All the time, all through the years, you've been harbouring a secret liking for the one girl you could never truly have, Hermione Granger…_

NO! Said the voice. But this voice was getting quieter, fading away. I don't like her, I don't, I can't……

……_No, you can't, _said the voice. _And yet…you do._

Draco looked up to find Hermione looking at him. He remembered she had said her name before. "Er…..it's just….." how could he say it? How could he tell her? She hated him. And she always would. Besides, she had a boyfriend, that flipping Alex Richardson.

"Yes?" said Hermione.

"Er….are….you….you ok?" He finished lamely.

"What do you care, Malfoy?" said Hermione coldly, turning back to the window.

"More than you know," Draco muttered under his breath.

FLASHBACK

It had been a normal day, in April.

"I'm gonna go sit outside for a bit in the shade, I'll see you later, ok?" said Hermione to Alex.

"Sure!" He had replied, smiling and kissing her on the cheek.

Hermione smiled and went outside with her Charms book. She had read a total of seventeen chapters before she noticed the sky darkening, and collected her things to go inside.

On her way in, she heard a sound however. A rustle, coming from the forest. Her curiosity took over and she walked quietly over to the entrance to the forest.

She got quite close, when she heard kissing sounds. Figuring she didn't want to walk in on a couple making out in the forest, she turned to leave. But it was then she heard the name, said by a female voice, coming from the forest.

"Alex……"

END OF FLASHBACK

The tears ran freely thick and fast down her face. Hermione gave a hiccough and a small sigh.

Draco had been watching her. He would never work up the nerve to tell her how he felt. That all he wanted to do was to comfort her, stop her from crying. How he wanted to hold her, and tell her everything would be ok. Instead, all he could do was watch her cry. But he couldn't any longer. He had to talk to her, somehow. Just to stop her from crying.

"Gra – Hermione?" Draco said.

Hermione was momentarily stunned that he had actually used her first name. "Yes?" She said, in a warmer tone than before.

"If…..you want…..you could tell me what's wrong, if you like…..I mean, I would……er……try to help and all……."

Hermione could tell that he hadn't had much experience at comforting people. And yet, she just wanted to speak to someone, anyone about what had happened, even Malfoy.

She looked away from him out the window. "Boys…." She murmured, distantly.

Draco had a thought. "Something to do with Richardson?"

Hermione looked at him. "Yes. He……"

"He what?" Said Draco.

"Was…..kissing another girl." She finished quickly.

Another minute of silence passed. Draco didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe that he had cheated on her! The once prominent voice inside his head had long since died, the voice that had started out small now in control. He realised that he couldn't control his feelings, that the once small voice had been right all along, he had liked Hermione, more than he realised, for years.

Draco stood up and walked over to the window, sitting on the ledge. He was looking at Hermione, she was staring out the window again. He took a deep breath, and prepared himself for the worst.

"Hermione," he started. She replied by looking at him. He looked into her dark brown eyes for another minute before carrying on.

"If that boy was kissing another girl, he obviously isn't worth your time, your feelings, or your tears." He said to her.

Hermione just looked at him. Why was he trying to comfort her? Why, for the first time ever in nearly seven years, was he actually not looking at her with a look of malicious pleasure after an insult? Why instead was he looking at her with a look of understanding, and a genuine manner of wanting to cheer her up? Hermione didn't know, but she wanted to.

"Why are you saying this to me?" she asked, curious. "Why aren't you just laughing at me, happy that I'm here crying? Surely it's what you've always wanted, to see me cry, to see me break down."

"No," Draco said. "Haven't you noticed that yes, I've always taunted you, but never gone so far as to actually make you cry? I could never do that. My insults have never hurt you like that."

"There are worse types of pain than just bluntly crying, Malfoy," Hermione said, a little angrily. "You just think I take your insults and shrug them off, don't you? Well, I don't. Every time you and your little friends call me names, or are generally nasty in nature to me, it sticks, on the inside. And it hurts. You've never even realised! How many people have you been horrible to, and then not even realised the extent of how much pain you've caused them inside? Even if you did know, you probably wouldn't even care. It's probably your aim to do that, anyway. To insult a person so far that they even begin to doubt themselves in their mind. To make them feel useless, worthless. And you wouldn't even give a damn. Because you're a Malfoy, and you like to show off, be snobbish, full of your arrogance, and destroying people inside is what you probably most enjoy to do, it must give you some kind of sick satisfaction."

Hermione finished, and was actually surprised that she had just said all that. All the feelings she kept bottled up inside her now flew out at the main person who had made her so insecure. She breathed out to calm herself and looked away from him.

Draco had looked down when she had finished. He had never known what he had done to her. He had thought his insults had simply rebounded off her, maybe bothering her for a moment or two, but forgotten the next. Never had he expected his words to penetrate so deep, to cause her such grief for so many years. And he found that he was truly sorry for doing this. It was like half of him enjoyed causing pain to others, the Malfoy side of him, the side that had been brought up that way, to constantly remind others that he was oh so superior to them. But there was another side to Draco Malfoy, a side that no-one had ever known, that he himself had only just realised existed. It was the side that felt sympathy towards others, and that hated everything that he himself stood for for causing so much pain. And Draco knew that this was the side that had harboured his feelings for Hermione for so long, this was the side that wanted to comfort her, and this was the side that would eventually win over the other.

Hermione had calmed down from her rage before. Draco simply looked at her again for a short while, before speaking two words quietly, but loud enough for Hermione to hear.

"I'm sorry."

It was two words that Hermione had thought would never have passed through the lips of a Malfoy. In spite of herself, still hating him, she looked at him, and could see that he meant what he had said. He looked into her eyes, unflinching. And Hermione finally saw the other side to Draco Malfoy. The new side, the side she had never known, the side that nobody had ever known. The side that secretly loved Hermione for who she was, not caring that she was a Muggle-born, a bookworm, a Gryffindor. And Hermione realised that she herself had fallen for this new side.

Without saying a word, Draco moved forwards and put his arms round Hermione, and she did nothing to resist. She felt safe and at peace in his arms, something she would never have thought possible. She felt comforted, and, at last, loved.


End file.
